I mean, come on, really... Who wants to end up as one of those twisted and sad "my-life-revolves-around-leaving-negative-comments-on-social-media" kind of people? Or, as is very common in the blogging world, the disgruntled expat, whose greatest joy is telling you what they (love to...) hate (about Denmark) and listing all the things that were oh so much better "back home"? Yikes!
But... [Ha! Yes, you knew there was a "but" coming!] But, okay, if you put a gun to my head and I had to name one - just one - little, itty, bitty thing that I dislike about Denmark, it would have to be the F-word. Call me old fashioned. I hate swearing. Just ask my kids. "Yes, Mum, we hear you! Swearing shows a lack of vocabulary!" In fact, the only time when you will ever (ever) hear me swear is down at the beach on the days when take-my-breath-away sea temperatures gang up with hold-on-to-your-hats storm force winds. So it's not really skinny dipping but more like being pummelled with rolling pins and stabbed by a thousand knives... ;)
But I digress! Yep, the F-word is rife here. You see and hear it in the Danish media. All. The. Time. I remember seeing "F**k" in a newspaper headline, lit up in giant neon lights at Rådhuspladsen (the town council square). You'll hear it in the playground at børnehave (nursery). And not just from the kids, but also their parents. Ouch! What about that Danish theatre play with the oh-so-catchy title, "Jeg, mig, f**k dig!"? (I, me, f*ck you!) Oh, and will you be watching Eurovision, live from Copenhagen, next month? Don't worry, you can relax when you hear the Danish entry, Basim, "Cliché Love Song". Luckily for us, they've changed the original chorus of "a f**cking cliché love song"...
...to the more demure "another cliché love song". Phew!
So with all those F-words flying around, I suppose I really shouldn't have been toooooo surprised when this advert appeared on TV2 Zulu the other night. What is it for? Chocolate milk from Cult. But not chocolate milk as we know it, Jim. A high caffeine, energy type one. With the oh-so-catchy name "Jeg er ik' bare en f**king kakao". (I'm not just a f**cking chocolate milk.) Um, really? Who's behind the advertising campaign - a bunch of 5th graders? :P
Not enough F-words for you? Then try their dedicated Facebook page - click here - though don't say I didn't warn you!
I'd like one bottle of chocolate milk. And could you put it in a brown paper bag for me, please?